Due to the current economic climate the "Light at the end of the tunnel" has been switched off.
Q. how many consultants does it take to change a light bulb
A. I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday
Q. how many students does it take to change a light bulb
A. None. They're bright enough to use compact flourescent bulbs that nearly never need changing
Q. how many mother in-laws does it take to change a light bulb
A. None - it's bright enough without them
Q. What do you call a religious gathering with hell-fire preaching?
A. A thermal mass.
Q. Did you hear about the foolish gardener?
A. He planted a light bulb and thought he would get a power plant.
Is a successful politician a power transformer?
I hear wind power is very popular because it has a lot of fans. bum bum
Do cars driven late at night burn the midnight oil?
When the lights went out in Barrack Street, Bill Johnson Energy Manager re-fused to put the power back on!
Do you call a power failure a current event?
Q. How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one but the bulb really must want to change!
Q. How many Museum staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Six - 1 to change it and 5 to preserve,collate,display and celebrate the old model!
Q: How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - It is a Hardware problem.
Q: Where does the dark go when you turn on the lights?
Q : How many members of U2 does it take to change a lightbulb?
A : Just Bono. He holds up the lightbulb and the world revolves around him!
A man was polishing a light-bulb before inserting it into the socket, when there was a big flash and a genie appeared before him.
'I am the genie of the light-bulb,' he said. 'I will answer any three questions for you - but only three. Do you have three questions you would like to ask?'
'Who? Me?' said the man.
'Yes, you,' said the genie, `Now, what is your third question?'
Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A..Two, one to hold down the giraffe, the other to let the bath water out.
A parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth. Obviously you can’t confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.
President Barack Obama has a plan [to fight global warming]. We can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius.
President Obama is starting to get concerned about global warning, which is why he's trying to rekindle the COLD war.
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Why do spring flowers in eco warriors' gardens last longer ??
Because they use long life bulbs!
Q, How many policemen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A, None, it will get fed up in the end and turn itself in.
British Gas man looks forward to tackling the 1,500 meters in 2012.
A Stratford shoplifter who concealed batteries by swallowing them is now being charged by Warwickshire Police.
Many Warwickshire homes already have an energy-saving device - it's called a teenager!
Q. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
Q.How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A. Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again
- or Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Q . How many conservationists does it take to change a light bulb?
A . Does it matter ....... as long as they change it for an energy efficient one!
Q. What happened to the WCC employee that left the light on....
A. He was charged and sent Ohm
Q. How many students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. They are all clever enough to use new energy saving bulbs that very rarely need changing
(not funny but a good message)
Q. What do you call a member of the carbon trust, that worked in collab with WCC to help save 15K of electricity and 75 tonnes of CO2 each year?
A. A diamond geezer
...all this energy efficiency, CO2 reducing and money saving has left the team...buzzing!
I did wonder how you found all that info out about money/energy saving and came to the assumption you must have your own Sherlock Ohms
How does people wasting energy at WCC make us feel?
It really Hertz! (....like a kick in the joules)
.When we found out how much money could be saved by being more energy efficient we were ex-static
Q. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Q. How many local government officials does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Fifty. One to change the light bulb and 49 to carry out a fact finding mission to Barbados to see how they change light bulbs there.
Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs
burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to
make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. I'm happy enough to be sat here in the dark! :o)
Q. Why did the fruit basket turn off all the lights?
A. Because they didn’t want to be in the LIME light!
Q. What did the 40watt bulb say to the 60watt bulb?
A "oh I'm feeling a little dim today!"
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